I made the mistake of getting sucked in again this season. My first impressions of Jason were that he was a man of integrity and deep feelings and that he cried A LOT. My Mom says that is a wonderful quality in a man, but two men have shown that in recent years, and both turned out to be wastes of breath.
I am finding it hard to believe that show is real. Everything seemed so staged, and it was disgusting. He was no more kind to either girl at the end, than the man in the moon. What a jerk! And for Molly to take him back, I wish she would have dumped him also. I guess she does not mind being the second choice. I thought Jason was concerned about how the whole process would affect his son. Yeah right.
He introduced one lady to his son as the one he was going to marry. And my choice for him. Then, he rips that relationship apart (she was far too good for him), and now has to tell his son, I made a mistake, now THIS lady is going to be your new Mommy, and the Mommy you got used to is never going to come here again. What that does to a 4 year old, time will tell.
So, I wasted my time. I am so angry at the way this turned out I could scream. And I am not alone. They are right for each other. Both heartless and only after one thing...
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
A friend called today...
I know it sounds petty, but a friend called me today and totally made my week. She filled me in on how her children are, we talked politics, talked about the lady with the 14 kids, her kids' birthday parties, her church, my health, their upcoming trip to Disney, and other stuff. We were room-mates in college, and it was the best hour and a half to chat with her.
That was a good part of today, but it reminded me of something that bugs me sooo much that I have to write about it.
As I have become sicker, I have turned into a pariah. No one calls (people have the lamest excuses for ignoring me, using old excuses when they have not even bothered to ask me for updates), no one comes to visit, they don't want to see or talk to me. Now, there are exceptions, and those are precious. Some email or contact me thru other sites, people who are too far away to come visit. That said, there are plenty who, for whatever reason, could call or come by, but don't. So busy in their own lives to notice that I am whithering away. I see the pain in their eyes on the once a year visit, so it is easier for them to go visit other HEALTHY friends. So what, I can not come to their house, I can not help it if my wheelchair will not fit.
But still life goes on. And things get harder for me. I am here almost 24/7, the exception lately being doctor visits. And no one offers to relieve my parents or sister. They are chained to our house by me, and no one bails them out. Exceptions there being my reliable nurse, and one Aunt.
So yeah, today I b**** because I am sick, so sick, of being sick, and deathly afraid that to some I have become invisible, not worth even talking to. And I am tired of watching those who live with me get tired, but still they smile and do their hardest (to their detriment) to take care of me.
Yeah, the visit on the phone today was great, but it also broke my heart. I will go now, and the cheerful Tracey will return tomorrow or by the next post. Today I am typing it like it is, and with the tears that fall, it cleanses me a bit. If people only knew, or cared.
This is my life. And today, I just wanted to type something to soothe my heart and put on paper what my heart and soul are screaming. And I am not allowing myself to do what I have done before by not posting this. I refuse to get rid of the evidence of my feelings by hitting the delete key.
Such is the dirty part of life with a disability. Some off days are really really off.
That was a good part of today, but it reminded me of something that bugs me sooo much that I have to write about it.
As I have become sicker, I have turned into a pariah. No one calls (people have the lamest excuses for ignoring me, using old excuses when they have not even bothered to ask me for updates), no one comes to visit, they don't want to see or talk to me. Now, there are exceptions, and those are precious. Some email or contact me thru other sites, people who are too far away to come visit. That said, there are plenty who, for whatever reason, could call or come by, but don't. So busy in their own lives to notice that I am whithering away. I see the pain in their eyes on the once a year visit, so it is easier for them to go visit other HEALTHY friends. So what, I can not come to their house, I can not help it if my wheelchair will not fit.
But still life goes on. And things get harder for me. I am here almost 24/7, the exception lately being doctor visits. And no one offers to relieve my parents or sister. They are chained to our house by me, and no one bails them out. Exceptions there being my reliable nurse, and one Aunt.
So yeah, today I b**** because I am sick, so sick, of being sick, and deathly afraid that to some I have become invisible, not worth even talking to. And I am tired of watching those who live with me get tired, but still they smile and do their hardest (to their detriment) to take care of me.
Yeah, the visit on the phone today was great, but it also broke my heart. I will go now, and the cheerful Tracey will return tomorrow or by the next post. Today I am typing it like it is, and with the tears that fall, it cleanses me a bit. If people only knew, or cared.
This is my life. And today, I just wanted to type something to soothe my heart and put on paper what my heart and soul are screaming. And I am not allowing myself to do what I have done before by not posting this. I refuse to get rid of the evidence of my feelings by hitting the delete key.
Such is the dirty part of life with a disability. Some off days are really really off.
Friday, January 30, 2009
About the weather....
It is a tad selfish I know, but I loved the snow and ice we got this past week. I am able to stay at home, and watch the weather out the window, and I loved it. I do not like to think of family and friends out in it, having trouble driving and walking. We had some measurable snow, finally, and lots of ice. And the whole mess lasted a few days since we are out in the country, and it would melt during the day and then refreeze at night. But again, I loved it.
The Superbowl is this weekend. My beloved Redskins are at home, so I really do not care, but I guess I will hope the underdog wins. I live as an underdog, so I try to help the little guy. Not that my Skins fall into that category, they are just having a rough decade or so...But wait until next season......
I have been eating and loving stuff given to me for Christmas. Those caramels with that white creamy stuff in the middle (loved them as a kid, hope every year that my cousin will give them to me, though I could buy them myself), chocolate (M&Ms, Ribbon Candy, all the stuff health fanatics say you should stay away from). Ain't life grand?
The Superbowl is this weekend. My beloved Redskins are at home, so I really do not care, but I guess I will hope the underdog wins. I live as an underdog, so I try to help the little guy. Not that my Skins fall into that category, they are just having a rough decade or so...But wait until next season......
I have been eating and loving stuff given to me for Christmas. Those caramels with that white creamy stuff in the middle (loved them as a kid, hope every year that my cousin will give them to me, though I could buy them myself), chocolate (M&Ms, Ribbon Candy, all the stuff health fanatics say you should stay away from). Ain't life grand?
Friday, January 23, 2009
It has been a while
After a long time of not being on the computer, I am finally able to catch up. Lots and lots to post about...
The recent reign of the new President. I did not watch all of it, I actually fell asleep waiting for the parade to start, only to find out a horse being hit by a vehicle was the reason for the delay. It looked so cold out there, and there were certainly more people than I have ever seen gather on the Mall. One of my cousins was out in that mess and I hope she got out OK. That crush of humanity would have made me really nervous.
Did anyone else hear that idiot who advised people in wheelchairs to just stay home and watch it on TV??? Almost made me want to go. Almost. That is my Grandma coming through. The stubborn streak... Well, if everyone in wheelchairs had stayed home, Biden's Mom would not have been there and neither would have Dick Chenney. Some people are so stupid and it is people like that guy who I hope just for 24 hours down the road sometime, he gets to know what it feels like...
The festivities of Tuesday were not pleasant to this conservative Christian, but I can appreciate the history that it brings and also how people never thought that would happen (an African American). I am tickled for the nurse that helps me, in that she and her family are so proud of their heritage, and for those that also are excited for that reason. I will and have already been praying for our President, always have (even Clinton).
It cracks me up that everyone is so excited about our new President, and yet one of the first things he has done is recommend that we appoint a CRIMINAL to be secretary of Treasury. That guy paid his only back taxes when he got caught. Is that Really who Democrats want controlling all our money? Insane. I predict that if this guy gets in, before it is over he will probably steal a ton of money and people will act all surprised. GOOD MOVE! If that is any indication of the next 4 years, we are in big trouble.
No snow this winter. Sad. I would still love to see us get a bunch, over a foot would be to my liking. But we have had lots of cold weather, most of it coming when I had to be out in it. Of course. Those who know me know that is kind of how my life works.
Many thanks to everyone who emailed, called, or came to see me as I have been recouperating from recent surgery. Thanks so much!
Until next time.....I am already planning my bumper sticker "Don't blame me, I voted for McCain".
The recent reign of the new President. I did not watch all of it, I actually fell asleep waiting for the parade to start, only to find out a horse being hit by a vehicle was the reason for the delay. It looked so cold out there, and there were certainly more people than I have ever seen gather on the Mall. One of my cousins was out in that mess and I hope she got out OK. That crush of humanity would have made me really nervous.
Did anyone else hear that idiot who advised people in wheelchairs to just stay home and watch it on TV??? Almost made me want to go. Almost. That is my Grandma coming through. The stubborn streak... Well, if everyone in wheelchairs had stayed home, Biden's Mom would not have been there and neither would have Dick Chenney. Some people are so stupid and it is people like that guy who I hope just for 24 hours down the road sometime, he gets to know what it feels like...
The festivities of Tuesday were not pleasant to this conservative Christian, but I can appreciate the history that it brings and also how people never thought that would happen (an African American). I am tickled for the nurse that helps me, in that she and her family are so proud of their heritage, and for those that also are excited for that reason. I will and have already been praying for our President, always have (even Clinton).
It cracks me up that everyone is so excited about our new President, and yet one of the first things he has done is recommend that we appoint a CRIMINAL to be secretary of Treasury. That guy paid his only back taxes when he got caught. Is that Really who Democrats want controlling all our money? Insane. I predict that if this guy gets in, before it is over he will probably steal a ton of money and people will act all surprised. GOOD MOVE! If that is any indication of the next 4 years, we are in big trouble.
No snow this winter. Sad. I would still love to see us get a bunch, over a foot would be to my liking. But we have had lots of cold weather, most of it coming when I had to be out in it. Of course. Those who know me know that is kind of how my life works.
Many thanks to everyone who emailed, called, or came to see me as I have been recouperating from recent surgery. Thanks so much!
Until next time.....I am already planning my bumper sticker "Don't blame me, I voted for McCain".
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Anybody else have this problem???
The reason that I do not post more here is because I can never remeber mine and then it takes so long to get a new one. I had a written cheat sheet with all my passwords, I even lost THAT!
One quick thing. I am having surgery unexpectedly on MONDAY. So it might be a while before I RECOUP enought to feel like getting on the computer.
My Redskins are falling apart. And it certainly does not help when one starter started shooting his mouth off. The only good in that is that I may win the bet with my Uncle Gene. WE do it in the summer and we guess what their final record will be. HE picked 3 an13, and I picked 7 and 9, so the way they are playing, I might win again. I WON last year. So that will be fun to keep up with.
i REALIZE I posted about hating passwords butI forgot those annoying letters in the boxes that you have to duplicate. AND I tried the other option, and that is worse. THEY say the letters while thre is noise or almost like someone is screaming.
One quick thing. I am having surgery unexpectedly on MONDAY. So it might be a while before I RECOUP enought to feel like getting on the computer.
My Redskins are falling apart. And it certainly does not help when one starter started shooting his mouth off. The only good in that is that I may win the bet with my Uncle Gene. WE do it in the summer and we guess what their final record will be. HE picked 3 an13, and I picked 7 and 9, so the way they are playing, I might win again. I WON last year. So that will be fun to keep up with.
i REALIZE I posted about hating passwords butI forgot those annoying letters in the boxes that you have to duplicate. AND I tried the other option, and that is worse. THEY say the letters while thre is noise or almost like someone is screaming.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Those darn passwords
So, why have I not written anything for a month, no many months?? For the simple reason that I could not remember my password, and could not get the link to change the password, to go through.
Finally, the password is something I will never forget. Life is tough these days. screening for a surgery in December, surgery in January. At least neither will mess up my actual Christmas or Christmas Eve and I never have plans for January.
About Christmas, my parents want my sister and I to make up Christmas lists. we are both adults, but what do we need?? Or want??? It is tough. And it is already November. so they are really pushing. A book I wanted, my sister bought it for Mom for her birthday.
So I will think about it and I am always open for suggestions.
Finally, the password is something I will never forget. Life is tough these days. screening for a surgery in December, surgery in January. At least neither will mess up my actual Christmas or Christmas Eve and I never have plans for January.
About Christmas, my parents want my sister and I to make up Christmas lists. we are both adults, but what do we need?? Or want??? It is tough. And it is already November. so they are really pushing. A book I wanted, my sister bought it for Mom for her birthday.
So I will think about it and I am always open for suggestions.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Back on track
I was reminded yesterday, by a true friend that others are not worth the energy. That is so right and now I am sorry I wasted the post.
I have MANY true friends, ones I could call in the middle of the night, and I know it. Friends that go back to college (lots of years later), family and people who are family by adoption, meaning they are so close they may as well be family.
It is weird how we focus on the negative and not the positive sometimes. Not sure why that is. If it is cold, we want it warmer. When the summer rolls around, we wish for cooler weather. Food too cold, then we whine when the microwave or stove gets it too hot. On and on....
Just a reminder to me, and those around me, to focus on the positive things in life, life is too short.
I have MANY true friends, ones I could call in the middle of the night, and I know it. Friends that go back to college (lots of years later), family and people who are family by adoption, meaning they are so close they may as well be family.
It is weird how we focus on the negative and not the positive sometimes. Not sure why that is. If it is cold, we want it warmer. When the summer rolls around, we wish for cooler weather. Food too cold, then we whine when the microwave or stove gets it too hot. On and on....
Just a reminder to me, and those around me, to focus on the positive things in life, life is too short.
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